mitigation

[Alan Bates]

Some time ago, I do not know when, somebody said I mitigate reporters pulled legs - I have not seen this message, so I do not know much about it. In my defense allow me to report that I have never mitigated anyone's leg - in fact I do not know how the poor fellow's leg got un-mitigated in the first place. I do not even know which hurts more: to mitigate or to un-mitigate a pulled leg, nor do I know the symptoms. For all I know both the leg and the mitigation are stored in formaldehyde at Johns-Hopkins. I hope they were not thrown in the river, lest the EPA start an investigation.
If this makes little sense to you, it makes less to me.

[Bob Reynolds]

Alan, isn't it a little early in the day to be drinking?

[Alan Bates]

I mitigate my tonsils after working hours. While I categorically deny mitigating reporters' legs, I do confess to caressing femurs in the moonlight!

[Frank X. Prudent]

Alan, isn't it a little early in the day to be drinking?

I'm sure that there is some mitigating circumstance that can explain this all. ;-)

[Matt Sisak]

Alan, isn't it a little early in the day to be drinking?

Early ????? It's always past noon somewhere !!!!

[Alan Bates]

The mitigation mystery has been mitigated! The guy who mitigated the pulled leg of the reporter was none other than Captain Ernest E. Wagner! I knew it was not I becauase I ain't that clever with words.

[Frank X. Prudent]

Praise the Lord's majesty! I would have hated to have seen litigation leading to the mitigating of the mitigation mystery.

[Tom Schiffer]

Wholly smoke!! Cap'n Walnut.