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Date: January 16, 2003 at 07:36:19
From: Tuck Tabler, [cache-dq03.proxy.aol.com]
Subject: Things worth learning when aboard the Belle


Well, another winter has begun, and it's freezing on the Wharf here in Louisville. To whittle away the time, I've decided to annoy a few people by actually, dear Lord, posting something not related to the DQ.

I've learned a lot of things on the Belle, but a few stick out in my mind. First, a toilet will always overflow within five minutes of leaving the wharf. Second, the deckhand who JUST lit his cigarette will be chosen to plunge it.

The Delta Queen and her sisters have a certain allure to them...that tends to drag away the good, trained guys and leave us with greenhorns and the guys we'd rather not hire back.

No matter how tired you are of the joke, at least one person will point at your shirt and go "So YOU'RE the Hornblower!"

It always behooves a good Deckhand to learn the phrase "No sir, we can't turn down the calliope."

It's best not to tell people that instead of props, the Belle has otters strapped to the port side that kick their feet to move us into the wharf. They might believe you.

The holds on our wharfboat hold about as much weight as a thin paper towel, and you risk putting a foot through the hull everytime you go down in one.

Dead mayflies can be found anywhere...even in places that stayed sealed all summer.

At least four people in the frezing cold winter will ask "When's the cruise?" per day.

Mention saltine crackers at lunch, and by 3:00 the rumor mill has you married to a goat. Don't ask me, it's just how it works.

If you're due to be relieved at 7:00, expect your relief to show up at 5:00, but refuse to clock in till 7:30.

And finally...

There are three ways of doing things...the right way, the wrong way, and the easy way. Only one of them gets you finished by the end of the day.


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